Snowy Days

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

 

It is days like these that make me miss him so much. Days when relaxing at the house, eating, laughing, playing in the snow, keeping one another company, and being cuddled up by the fire is all you have. No work. No school. No commitments. Days like these I miss him the most because it is days like these that you get to spend quality time with the people you love the most. Yes you can get sick of one another, get on each others nerves, and develop cabin fever....but in my mind it is days like these that we rarely ever get to enjoy. The only other days that I get to sit around and truly enjoy my family is the holidays which as we know don't come around very often. I guess more than anything it makes me miss him the most because quality time is all I wish for right now with him. I would give anything to have my husband stuck in the house with our family and friends just enjoying time together. Although I miss him so bad it hurts this snow brings me a sense of peace, because I know that I am not the only one looking at the window at this beautiful white wonderland, but he is too. It brings me a sense of comfort to know that he is looking out his window seeing the same beautiful snow and thinking of me to.

 

I have come to realize over the past ten months that it doesn't matter who you choose to settle your life down with it will always be hard and bring challenges.This is why when I read this quote by St. Augustine I thought to myself, "He understands it. He gets the real truth". Whether you are struggling because you are a million miles away from one another or in bed right next to one another and just cant get along, we all struggle. I believe St. Augustine says it perfectly when he states, "Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident." The true test of a marriage comes when the "in love" isn't there anymore and the "real love" appears at the surface. I can truly say I am grateful to have learned at an earlier age then most that being "in love" is easy, but it is when reality sneaks its way to the surface (and it will) that continuing to always love is what is hard. The Bible states that in marriage two become one which I believe is such a beautiful thing. I love how St. Augustine takes this analogy and uses it in his quote. "Real love" shines through when you have fought the fought, won the battles, worked through the disagreements, persevered through the hard times, took on the unexpected, forgave when you didn't want to, respected when it wasn't easy, and choose to love when you didn't feel like it. This to me is when the "pretty blossoms" have fallen off the tree and you can still look at one another and say, "We made a promise to ourselves and God and we have conquered the tough times. We understood that we became one when we said "i do" and we have continued to stay one no matter what life through at us". My prayer today is that God will continue to always give my husband and I this mind set and clarity. My prayer is that we will continue to stay one and fight even when the "promises of eternal passion" is gone. My prayer is that although some days we may fall "out of love" we will continue to choose to love one another because we are one. My prayer is that as St. Augustine put it, our roots will continue to always grow towards one another even when the pretty blossoms have fallen off.

 

So in my opinion St. Augustine is right, but another thing we have to remember about love is what do we do when it gets hard? Where do we turn? What do we do even though we don't want to? What helps our branches grow together no matter what? So I leave you with this....

 

^"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. "

-1 Corinthians 13:4-7

 

I believe that although these qualities help grow our branches together, they are always the most difficult things to remember in a marriage and when times get tough. So my final prayer is that although we will have bad days, tough years, and unexpected seasons, that by God's grace and sweet mercy He will fill my husband and I with these qualities in our marriage. I pray these things for you as well.